


The Adventures of Sports-Shoe and Jim

by TeachUsSomethingPlease



Series: A Hat Dumps the Universe on Its Head [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, McGonagall is Affectionately Exhausted, Nicknames, Post-Canon, Pranks, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26338786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeachUsSomethingPlease/pseuds/TeachUsSomethingPlease
Summary: A short thing, drabble-bordering-one-shot, about Sports-Shoe and Jim, A.K.A Victoire Weasley and James S. Potter.
Relationships: Teddy Lupin/Victoire Weasley, Victoire Weasley & James Sirius Potter
Series: A Hat Dumps the Universe on Its Head [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904803
Kudos: 19





	The Adventures of Sports-Shoe and Jim

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter. Canon compliant. I never bothered to check if it was Cursed Child Compliant, though.

The first thing to know about Sports-Shoe and Jim was that their names weren’t actually Sports-Shoe and Jim. They were, in fact, Victoire and James, but they had made the grievous mistake of letting George and Angelina think up their names, which was how Victoire ended up, with help from Hermione’s entirely superfluous repository of classical knowledge, being named after either a goddess, or a brand of trainers. A brand of _expensive_ trainers, her mother would remind people (that is, after she got over the indignation); a pair of high quality, pricey shoes, and don’t you forget it.

The second thing to know about Sports-Shoe and Jim was that they had a number of other contacts that wished to remain anonymous, or at least pretend that was so. While Victoire and James were the face of what Auror Potter and Professors McGonagall and Longbottom semi-affectionately called Marauders Mark III, a single Hufflepuff and single Gryffindor couldn’t possibly manage to cause quite as many problems as they did.

Teddy was obviously part of it all, though he strenuously denied it, finding it amusing that even after a full seven years of practice coming from his mother, nobody actually knew how to deal with a metamorphagus, especially not one with a proclivity for turning into _other people_ (and wasn’t that useful for a cover?) The fact Victoire had a habit of calling him Mr President confirmed this, not that most of the wizards ever got the joke, even as the older boy voiced his protests – “My name’s Edward! Theodore is for _nerds_.”

A few suggested cute little Lucy Weasley might be in on it, for the girl possessed a certain sparkle in her eye that sometimes terrified her poor father. Unfortunately, nobody knew for certain, not least because the girl had her own way of getting into the Ravenclaw common room after finding a second door that instead of a riddle, gave you a ridiculous number puzzle. Considering most people at Hogwarts could barely do basic algebra, it was a small miracle anyone else could use the door, and though one or two people had used in in emergencies, the path was, in general, exclusive to the girl. A shame, because it meant nobody could catch her sneaking plans to the other children.

Some even thought Louis, Victoire’s younger brother, who had been unceremoniously dubbed Nearly Headless Nick by the time he was nine, might be in on it, but in all honesty, Louis was enough of an enigma on his own, with such an odd combination of his mother’s haughtiness and his father’s sense of cool and an entire _landfill_ of burning ambition that nobody really bothered to look too hard into it. If he was the one supplying Marauders Mark III with firewhiskey (how the hell did he get it, anyway?) and explosives (no really, how) and magical glitter (green and silver, of course, because house pride should never be left to fester) then so be it. They’d never figure him out anyway.

The third thing to know about Sports-Shoe and Jim was that neither had any sense of when to _stop_ , and this became a bit of a problem, sometimes, or all the time, especially when, on Hallowe’en morning, everyone awoke to find someone had filled _every single suit of armour with bats, what the hell_. That incident earned them a tired chat and three ginger biscuits each from the Headmistress, who nearly quit then and there when Sports-Shoe claimed it was a homage to the last Headmaster, _Dad says he looked like a bat, didn’t he?_

The fourth thing to know about Sports-Shoe and Jim was that they were _partners_. Sports-Shoe may have been years older, but that didn’t matter, they were equals, and if sometimes Sports-Shoe was going at the wine and Jim at the pumpkin juice, neither of them said a word. One would bring the plan, the other the resources, then they would swap, and it made things infuriating for the teachers, because _no one person could do this, but Victoire has an alibi, how does she had a Merlin-be-damned alibi?_

The fifth thing to know about Sports-Shoe and Jim was that they vowed never to grow up. Oh no, not like Aunt Mione’s book, not like Peter Pan, and they certainly didn’t plan on dying before they reached their majority, they simply swore they’d never let go of their current selves, not even when they were old. They made this oath when Jim was five and Victoire was ten, and dear Sports-Shoe (and Mr President, and Nearly Headless Nick the Living, and possibly Lucy) kept it, even when Jim was in his final year and busy preparing to follow his father into the Auror force while Mr President and Sports-Shoe were busy managing the fact Mr President had (entirely by accident, honestly) married and subsequently planted a _living being_ inside of Sports-Shoe. Jim, last of the Marauders Mark III, went out in a blaze of glory, joy, and slightly mouldy cheese puffs (Dotty the House Elf would later claim it had taken seven weeks to find all the squirrels).

The sixth thing to know about Sports-Shoe and Jim was that despite being utter menaces to the world, they were adored. Yes, Jim could be heavy-handed and hurtful at times, but he worked at it, especially as he grew older. Yes, Victoire would always be far too pretty for her own good, and yes, it was her fault Darren Peterson had a broken nose, but for Morgaine’s sake, she’d never hurt someone who couldn’t fight back. Yes, they had both painted McGonagall’s office with silver, catnip-laced paint, and yes, they had caused several of the portraits to be sent to a professional restorer to _stop them from laughing, for goodness sake, Albus, it’s not that funny, you too, Severus!_ The fact was, though, that Sports-Shoe and Jim were something the past two generations were not – completely and utterly free.

It probably helped their case that they could tack some of the blame of Auntie Gabrielle, too. Perhaps.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me it never happened.


End file.
